| Notes |
- We had a long phone call from Carla's school administrator last night. She had more of the details from the day she was killed. Carla had recently started dating Stephen (from South Africa and part of the scuba diving group that Carla has been with) who lives in Huwei which is about 15 km from Carla's town of Beigang. He was sick on Monday night so Carla had spent the night to make sure he was alright. On Tuesday morning (Taiwan is 16 hours ahead of us in time so this would have been our Monday evening) she called Shani (her room mate) to let her know she was coming back to Beigang and then set off on the highway on Shani's scooter. Scooters are everywhere in Taiwan and there is a scooter lane on the highway. A local farmer in his truck passed Carla and then turned right, across the scooter lane. He didn't notice her and she didn't notice that he was turning. She collided with the the truck and suffered severe chest trauma. The call to emergency was shortly afterwards. Our first phone call was at about 6:45 from the doctor at the hospital. They knew that it was extremely serious and advised us to make arrangements to come as quickly as possible. They were considering transporting her to a major hospital for surgery but didn't think that she would survive the trip. Shani and Lydia arrived at the hospital and were with Carla. They called several times and finally were with her when she died. I was on the phone with Shani while she was holding Carla's hand and talking to her and giving me the opportunity to talk to her too. So in a sense I was with her at the end and I am very grateful for that. Shani is such an amazing girl and I am so thankful she was Carla's roommate. They have scheduled a flight for Carla to arrive in Vancouver on Sunday night. Our funeral director who is a good friend,neighbor and part of our church family is going to Vancouver to pick her up and bring her home. A group from the school will travel up to Taipei to escort her onto the plane. It was such a relief to finally be able to start thinking about planning. The sitting and waiting is the worst. We'll keep you informed as plans start to take shape.
Love Paul and Joyce
- Thank you to everyone for remembering us in your prayers and grieving with us. Paul is on his way to Spokane right now to pick up Sharon and Aidan so they will be joining the rest of us here which will be good for them and us. Paul is traveling with a good friend of his so they will have some good time together for which I am thankful. Carla is arriving in Vancouver on Sunday night and our funeral director who is a good friend, our next door neighbor and part of our church family will be picking her up and bringing her home on Monday. The memorial service will be on Monday the 20th. More details to follow later. Just thought you all should know at least that much for now.
We've set up a facebook page in memory of Carla. It's called "Carla Johanna Wiersma" and if anyone would like to say somethiing on the page, please do. We are getting tributes from so many people that Carla touched in her life and there are so many more than we are aware of. Many of them I have never heard of. It is a real testimony to Carla's life and her sweet, caring nature. It is very difficult to read them and we weep every time but it is also so encouraging and healing.
Thank you again for being with us during this incredibly difficult time.
Love, Joyce
- Dear Yogi & Liya: Thank you Yogi for your letter yesterday. That was beautifully written and encouraging to us.
The funeral is at 10:30. We decided on that time because we want a traditional funeral as there will be a lot of young people there and we thought it would be good to have the coffin there for them to have better closure. After that will be a reception and then to the cemetery and we have to be out of the cemetery by 2:30. It was either that or have the funeral later in the day and have the burial the next day but we didn't want to extend it to another day. We need to be done with this - it'll be 2 weeks by then already and Christmas and the wedding are coming up so we need to carry on. We really can't change the time at this point. We've posted it on facebook and made most of the arrangements. I do hope this doesn't change your plans about coming. We are really looking forward to having as much family there as possible. After the cemetery we can go back to church where people will still probably be and continue to reception or we can be with just the family at our house. I have so much baking at home that peope have brought to us. At this point we aren't sure how that will go. I had a good talk with Rita on the phone.
- Dear Yogi & Liya: I hope you are feeling better Yogi and that the cold is not getting the better of you.
We all went to the funeral home yesterday and spent some time with Carla. It was difficult, lots of tears but also remembering and talking about the good times we've had as a family.
We were wondering, if we here wrote something about Carla if you would mind reading it at the funeral. If you wanted, you could also say some of your own words too. We got together with the pastor this morning and worked out a lot of the details. Some of her friends have asked if they could say something too,.
I went to school today for about an hour and got lots of hugs from the kids and visited with the staff in the staffroom at lunch. It was good for all of us to do that before the Christmas break.
All for now. Thank you for all your prayers.
- Thank you all for your continued prayers. We continue to grieve as we attempt to somewhat normalize our lives again but it is a struggle. We have decided to go to Taiwan leaving next Sunday night. Especially for Paul who hasn't been there, we think it will be good to be where Carla spent the last year, meet her friends, teachers, students and of course, Shani, her roommate. We plan to take it very easy, walk the streets of Beigang where she lived, stay with Shani for the first 5 days and then perhaps do a little travelling to other parts of the island. We are leaving very early Monday morning (2am) and will be flying out of Taipei again on Thursday, Feb. 3.
We had close friends from Abbotsford come to stay with us last weekend and it was very good. We had a lot of good conversations with tears and laughter. After they left on Sunday the house felt very empty. We will stay with them next Sat. night and then go to Rachel's on Sunday and she'll bring us to the airport.
I have been back to teaching which is going fairly well. During the day I am so busy and the kids are a good distraction but then I come home and fall apart. Paul has been going to work very part time, usually gets there in time for the noon walk which is good and then comes home earlier than he usually would.
Just thought I'd get you up to date on what's happening with us. Bye for now.
Love, Joyce
- We made it to Beigang, tired and jetlagged. Lydia picked us up at the airport, took a taxi to the high speed train and then her car was waiting for us to take us the last 1/2 hour. The flight went well. It was difficult taking this trip, thinking of the last time I did it and how exciting it was seeing Carla at the airport and then in her apartment. It brought back more pain. We walked down the busy street where we walked many times in July and are now back at the apartment reading until we go to the school and get something to eat if we can make it that long. It was wonderful seeing Shani and we'll be meeting more people in the next few days.
Thank you all for your prayers.
Love Joyce
- After a week of many ups and downs in the Beigang area we breathed a sigh of relief when we got on the high speed train headed for Taipei for our last 2 days here in Taiwan. The time was very emotional dealing with paper work and authority figures, language barriers and cultural barriers. It was fantastic spending time with Shani and her friends and we could understand that Carla truly enjoyed her time here and made some very good friends. We spent a glorious day and night in Kenting (the southern part of the island) by the ocean where Carla loved to go.
We are now in Taipei and figuring out the metro system. Yesterday we went up Taipei 101 and toured the Sun Yat Sen memorial. Today we are going to explore the International Flora Expo site since our hotel is about 1 km away. Since it is world famous and we're so close we better see what that's all about. Tonight we are going to find the Brass Monkey Pub where Carla went all by herself to watch the Canada/US Olympic hockey game. If we have time today, depending on how much time we spend at the Flora Expo, we may also try find the Palace Museum which would have a lot of interesting history. Although I'm looking forward to going home, it would also be nice to spend a week here and take the metro to all the places Taipei is famous for. There is so much to do in this huge city. The hotel we are in is very nice and very inexpensive according to Canadian prices.
Thank you all for praying for us. We are thankful how God has led us and sustained us through our time in Taiwan. We will fill you in on more details as time goes by.
Love, Joyce and Paul
- Landed in Vancouver yesterday noon (Feb 3) several hours before we left (4:45 pm Feb 3 in Hong Kong). Got some sleep on the plane but were greatly in need of last night's sleep. Today we need to go back in to Vancouver to the Taiwan Economic Development office to get a certified birth certificate copy made for the insurance claims in Taiwan. They need to show that we are legitimately her parents and that the birth certificate is really a Canadian document. They also asked us to prove that Carla didn't have any children but didn't give us any indication of how we were supposed to prove it. Our last discussions with them suggested that the birth certificate would be sufficient. Hopefully that will be the end of processing on that end.
We hope to get back to Summerland on time this afternoon and will have a few days to recover before work starts next week. It will be very good to be back home. Taiwan is just so different (food, climate, people, administrative processes and everything else) that we are pretty weary from our time there. Interesting though and under different circumstances would have been more enjoyable. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, we needed them.
Love,
Paul
- I realize it's been two weeks + since we've been back and I haven't really told you much about our trip. There's too much to tell that I can put in an e-mail but I'll fill you in on some of the details.
We arrived and Lydia was at the airport to pick us up. For me that was difficult because I was remembering the last time I arrived at the airport and Carla was there and she was so excited - bouncing up and down. Lydia took us to Beigang via taxi and high speed train and then another difficult time stepping into her apartment and seeing the living room etc. Just remembering it again is making me cry.
We did a little sightseeing on our own in the town that afternoon and went to bed early, jet lag and all. In the morning Lydia picked us up and we went to the bank to close out Carla's account and then to the car insurance office where we applied for the liability insurance that was due us. All that took a lot of time and confusion on our part because of cultural and language differences. Then we went back to the apartment and rested until the next day when we were finally feeling adjusted to the time change. That day was very difficult. We had to go to a court house in another town to apply for power of attorney for Lydia so she could handle things there on her end when we left again. It took most of the day and again, lots of discussions on their part with us not knowing what was going on. We were very uptight when it was all done and then, to top if off, on the way back Lydia decided to stop at the accident scene and proceeded to explain what had happened. It was the wrong time for us and almost too much. After standing there for a minute we told her to drive on.
The next day we met with Pastor Lee who was Carla's pastor at the church she had attended periodically - just down the road from her apartment. Through him we were able to set up a meeting with the Huang's (the truck driver). We wanted to meet him because we had heard that he was devastated by what had happened and we wanted to assure him that we could forgive because it was an accident. There were a lot of tears flowing. We had an interpreter who is a friend of Shani's and could speak English very well and was a Christian which was amazing. At one point, Mr. Huang said he could not understand that we could be so nice to him when he killed our daughter. Sheila was able to explain to him the message of forgiveness and about Jesus. That was cool. He also gave us an account of what happened. It turned out that the Huang's also have a 25 year old daughter and when he got out his truck and saw Carla he sat on the road and held her in his arms and treated her like his own. That was a comfort to us.
The next day we went on our own to Kenting on the southern most tip of the island. This was one of Carla's favorite places and where she went scuba diving. We stayed there two nights, walking the streets of the town, walking along the beach which was wonderful. We rented a scooter and went to the Marine Biology Museum and walked beside the fish that Carla enjoyed diving with. The tanks were huge with tunnels through them so the fish were all around. Amazing! That was one of the highlights of our trip. We got back on Sunday afternoon and visited with Shani for an hour before she left for Lethbridge where she was going for her Chinese New Year Break. Her sister and brother in law live there - are doctors from S. Africa. Shani had never seen snow before so this was an experience - She loved every minute of the cold and snow and mastered snowboarding in Fernie where they went for 4 days. Meeting and visiting and sharing and crying with Shani was also one of the highlights of the trip.
On Monday we did some packing and then met with the Huang's, their lawyer and several other people to negotiate a settlement. We did not go to Taiwan expecting to have so much dealing with authorities and discussion of money so it was more stressful than we had expected. We just wanted to go and hang out with Carla's friends, see the town and other places she liked to go. Instead, we spent a lot of time in offices, being very frustrated with not understanding what was going on. We ended up with a settlement of about $130,000 dollars CAN which will of course pay for all our expenses plus our trip to Taiwan and wages lost for Daniel because he didn't get paid for the time he spent here before his wedding, as well as my wages when I went to Taiwan. The rest will possibly be put towards a scholarship fund in Carla's name or some such thing - not quite decided yet. At one point during the negotiations I started crying, thinking "How can we put a dollar value on Carla's life?" It was too hard to even think about, seemed so cold and crass. So, at one point, we left the office to do some deliberating with Lydia and then she went back in but Paul and I stayed out. I couldn't face it anymore. That took most of the afternoon and evening and we just wanted to get back to the apartment to finish packing but they insisted they take us out for dinner. We didn't really want to but we did. The next day we finished packing and then Lydia drove us to the high speed train and we left for Taipei. We breathed a huge sigh of relief when we got on the train, very happy to be leaving.
We had a great time in Taipei. We went up Taipei 101, explored around that area, figured out how to use the metro system, had a lovely hotel to stay in. The next day we went to the International Flora expo and walked around several flower gardens and displays from different countries. It was lovely. Then for dinner we found the pub that Carla went to to watch the Canada/US olympic hockey game. We had a nice dinner there, then back to the hotel to relax after walking all day. The next day we flew back home. So that was our trip. More stressful, not as relaxing as we had hoped but oer all we are glad we went.
We got back home on Saturday and I went back to teaching on Monday. That has been going well. The kids keep me busy and my mind focused on my teaching. I usually have a good cry on the way home, especially when I listen to my favorite CD with worshipful songs that talk about trusting, casting our cares on Jesus, etc. Good songs that touch my heart. I am managing and slowly getting back to my routine but there will always be a hole in my heart - that will never go away but I am learning to live with it, still crying almost every day and praying to God to help me trust because at this point it is a hard thing to do. Friends have been very good to us and are helping us as we limp along.
Paul is having a harder time. Since we've been back he has not been to work, except for one day for a few hours. I would appreciate prayer for him. He is needing to do a lot of paperwork still - dealing with Carla's income tax, Canada Pension Plan, etc. So it's pretty tough for him. He is finding distractions by trying to learn Chinese using some books he purchased plus some computer programs. He does like a challenge like that but he's finding it very difficult to get back to his job.
Please keep praying for us. It is still very difficult. Thank you.
Love, Joyce
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1985 - 2010 (25 years)
